Hummus for President

I went to Trader Joe's today with my friend Lucky to buy some pomegranate walnut hummus. I am grateful to be alive at a time when there are so many luxury, faux Mediterranean, corn chip dip options. That got me to thinking. I love the freedom to go to the store and get whatever I want and be treated decently and not ignored or disrespected because of things I can't control like the fact that I'm a guy or that I'm caucasian.

I had a conversation with my friend Brooksie when I was at her house a couple weeks ago. She told me about being married in the 70s and not being able to get a credit card in her own name as a married woman. Crazy. It makes sense that the ERA gained traction around that time. It had been hanging out since 1923 and not ratified. I'm glad people started to mobilize and fought to pass equal rights for women in the 70s. Good work America! Although it never happened. The ERA STILL hasn't passed, to this day. Weird. I like women. A lot of them enjoy hummus just like I do. It seems that Constitutionally protecting their equality is a no brainer. 

Oh oh! Do you know who else's rights aren't federally protected? Gay people. Yeah, shocker right? There's a major American political organization whose platform is chock full of meaty little bits of discrimination. They want to overturn the Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage, discourage gay couples from adoption, make "conversion therapy" legal for minors, and actively oppose LGBTQ civil rights protections. Chewy. Teriyaki? 

Look, my experiences are limited. I'm a straight, white guy. I've only been discriminated against...(let me think about that one and get back to you). It took me a minute to understand that this election coming up is a bigger than me. I have a dirty narcissistic streak and tend to not see past my ever expanding waistline. I supported Bernie and the Democratic party fucked him like a blow up doll at frat party. The Clintons are The Establishment incarnate. I hate the whole fucking system. So to hell with it all. Get me some caramelized onion and paprika hummus and a fucking spoon. I'm O U T. The gays will be fine. THEY HAVE GLITTER. Uh.....

But this election IS bigger than me. Probably bigger than you too. Women, Blacks, LGBTQ, Muslims, Mexicans, anyone who doesn't look like the man in my mirror, stand to get fucked a hell of a lot worse than Bernie Sanders did by the Democrats if America's most notorious, self proclaimed, non-consensual pussy grabber gets handed a tic tac and the keys to the White House. The system is broken. Neither of these candidates is gonna fix it. But one will make it significantly worse for a whole lot of folks. You know this. The question is how many fucks do you give?